How I make my hair curly and the products I use?

I recently got a message in my inbox. It was short and sweet. “How do you have curly hair?”

To be honest, there are so many answers to this question, I dont even know where to start but I will try as much as possible to provide all the information on how to have the best curly hair. 

Okay what does it take to have curly hair?

So curly hair depends on first on genetics. If you have the genetic predisposition i.e. science talk for if it runs in your family then you have curly hair. Based on your hair curl types you can have waves, coils, spirals, ringlets.

This nice white lady here has ringlets:

So first step to having curly hair is….drumroll please…you must have naturally curly hair for you to

So that we’ve established that you have curly hair you can now understand curl definition. This is because curl products cannot change your natural hair type. Products are designed to enhance and help define your natural hair type. So eco styler gel on a Hair type 3a is going to look different on a 4c hair type. For me, I have a mixture of different hair types. Im a combination of 4a, 4b 4c. This is the beauty of all-natural hair. Everyone’s natural hair is different, unique and beautiful and curling products are for enhancing your natural hair texture.  

To change your hair type it means using chemicals to change the bond of the hair to either curl the bond. White people call this a perm. Or to loosen the curl…using the relaxer/straightner treatment. 

Natural hair curl products do not change the bond of the hair rather enhance and define the curl more.

My best curl definition process 

Ive been the curly since 2014 and this so for is the best process I’ve found for maximum curl definition

Undo hair, apply shampoo, wash, rinse, apply conditioner or deep conditioner, hot oil, detangle, leave conditioner for 30mins, rinse with lukewarm water,  dry until damp, section hair, apply the product on each section, comb through, style using twists or braidout, let hair dry, comb out and style

Ecostyler Gel (Kshs. 699)

SHOP: https://www.jumia.co.ke/professional-styling-gel-black-castor-flaxseed-oil-8-oz-eco-styler-mpg130461.html

Aunt Jackie’s Flaxseed Gel (Kshs. 895)

Shop: https://www.jumia.co.ke/dont-shrink-flaxseed-gel-aunt-jackies-mpg187889.html

Cantu Curling Cream (Kshs. 895)

SHOPhttps://www.jumia.co.ke/moisturizing-curl-activator-cream-355-ml-cantu-mpg93750.html

Conclusion

To be natural is to understand, accept and embrace and love your curls. It takes time, its a process undoing of your definition of what is beautiful curly hair. That’s why we call it a natural hair journey. So dont focus on social media posts on curly hair. Rather try out the products that define your curlt

What are your best products for curl definition?

Ugghh..can I get Covid-19 on My Hair?

Source: instagram

It’s time to confront the tweepadock in the room ( read Big Bang Theory Ep7, season 6)

Can you get corona through your hair? Are there risks that the virus could be in your natural hair?Should I be worried about viral contamination on my hair?What if someone sneezes? am I gonna get the Rona?

Is Corona in Your Hair?

First of all you have to think through the process of what has to happen for someone to become infected

Here is what scientists know so far… the virus is spread through symptomatic people via respiratory droplets, direct contact with an infected person, or by contact with contaminated surfaces. The virus is viable for “hours to days” depending on the surface and conditions. 

 Dr. Janowski of Washington University School of Medicine sets a plausible scenario of contamination via hair.

“You have someone who sneezes and they have to have X amount of viruses in the sneeze. There has to be so many drops that land on you to spread the virus”

“Then you have to touch that part of your hair that has those droplets which already have a significant reduction in viral particles”.

“Then you have to touch that and then touch whatever part of your face to come into contact with it. When you go through the string of the events that must occur, such an extended number of things have to happen just right. That makes it low risk”

Dro. Omes, Yale Institute of Global Health doesn’t “recall anyone” testing hair but said the virus likely wouldn’t live as long as other surfaces.When it comes to stainless steel and plastic, coronavirus can live on the surface for 2 to 3 days.   So far scientists have seen that viruses survive for lesser durations on porous surfaces such as hair than smooth surfaces such as stainless steel. It’s not clear how long the virus may be able to survive on hair. Possibility the virus could remain viable on your hair for a few hours or even a few days.

Dr. Friedman, School of dermatology, George Washington school of medicine says it depends on the circumstances of the hair. If hair is ripped out and sneezed on directly by someone who may have the virus it could live on it up to 3 days. However if hair is attached to the scalp it would be a different story. Natural oils cover our strands as a protectant. They have antimicrobial properties. But you can’t rely on natural hair oil production; it varies according to each person, health, diet , hair types.

You can’t wash your hair as often as your hands. Washing hair too often will dry it out, cause frizziness, split ends, and damage your scalp’s natural defense mechanisms including the oils and friendly bacteria that sit on your hair. It will also cause dandruff, and make you susceptible to fungal infections and injury. 

So how can we protect ourselves from getting corona on our hair?

Hair is not exposed  to large amounts of the virus. Unless your hair is constantly touching doors, shopping carts or shaking hands or unless someone is sneezing, coughing or panting directly into your hair stroking your hair with this virus-contaminated hands there are few ways for your hair to be contaminated.

List of Do’s and Dont’s

-Do avoid touching your hair before washing your hands.

-Don’t be worried about viral contamination of your hair if you are practicing social distancing. Even if someone sneezes on the back of your head, any droplets that landed on your hair will be an unlikely source of infection

-Don’t let someone who could be contagious come close to you without wearing a mask.

-Don’t put sanitizer, disinfectants on your hair…unless you want it to break off

-Do wash your hands before and after touching your hair.

-Although it highly unlikely, don’t touch your hair and then touch your face, you may transfer the virus to your face If someone does contaminate you i.e. sneeze, cough, wash your hair and soap for at least 20 secs.

Do You Have What it takes to have Natural Hair?

To manage natural hair you will need the right mindset….

For most women, a big chop is a way of starting fresh and wearing your natural hair curls for the first time completely, but it takes guts… serious lady cajones (cahones)..to big chop your hair into natural hair. I was scared too even though I knew my hair was unhealthy overprocessed, thin with split ends. It was affecting my self-esteem and confidence. I hated that, this is because I wasn’t the inner vibrant sexy female that I was not reflecting outwards. Something drastic needed to happen so after doing a lot of research, asking myself questions, I stopped relaxing my hair, later on, I big chopped into natural hair. I’ve been natural for over 5 years and what I’ve learnt the most is that your attitude will determine your altitude.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image-11.png
Source: Google

Your mindset is a summary of those beliefs, ideas and attitudes. Your mindset will determine how successful you are on your natural hair journey. Having a growth mindset is having the belief that your abilities to have natural hair can be developed while having a fixed mindset is believing that your natural hair is “ugly” and believing that you are not good at managing your own hair and that you will never this ability no matter what you do.

Those with a growth mindset believe they can always improve, catch up or even surpass others on their natural hair journey.They also believe that most abilities required to manage their natural hair are developed. Having a growth mindset makes a difference between giving up, relaxing hair again or having healthy natural hair for the rest of your life.

Growth mindset naturalistas value what they are doing regardless of the outcome. They love to learn and are resilient. Meanwhile, fixed mindset curly girls give up easily and are afraid of challenges. Everything is about the outcome for a fixed mindset girl and if she fails, she considers having natural hair “a waste of time”.

To be a true naturalista, you must be ready to charter into a sea of unknown. Some of us haven’t seen our natural hair since the Kibaki-era so having natural hair is almost like trekking a whole new territory. And in as much as you will watch all the Youtube videos you can, you will try and failing is part of the game until you’ve set up a routine that makes you feel confident in your natural hair. You also have to be open to doing your hair in a different way, using different products and setting up new routines so there is a learning curve and you make mistakes.

Learning curve to managing natural hair
Source: Google

So how do you develop this natural hair mindset.?

STEP #1: Awareness. Awareness is the most important tool to developing a growth mindset. Notice when you are playing it “safe”

Source: Google

STEP #2: Acknowledge and embrace your natural hair in all its glory.

STEP #3: Track your progress.

STEP #4: Reach out for guidance and ask questions.

STEP #5Tackle the small elements of having a natural game. Break your tasks into small tasks and you will master and grow in confidence. When you can clearly achieve a small task such as softer hair, manageable hair, curl definition, wash day.

STEP5#: Focus and celebrate your wins and reflect on what worked and what to improve on.

STEP #6:Try different learning tactics. There is no one-size-fits-all model for learning.

STEP#7: View the challenges as opportunity for self-improvement.

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It takes guts…serious lady balls to cut your hair. Get into the right mindset help and enjoy the journey

If you are still struggling with your mindset, here are 2 good books to help:

Growth Mindset by Carole Dweck

Grit by Angela Duckworth

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Thinking to Big Chop and have natural hair?… All the Useful Tips You will ever need

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Rahab Kinyanjui (@imakenyancurl)

Big chop or the BC is the act of cutting all of your processed hair to leave your beautiful natural healthy hair. It’s the quickest way to go natural, an alternative to long term transitioning and is considered a milestone in having natural hair

Ive big chopped twice. The first time I did it i relaxed my hair thereafter 🙁 before I big chopped I knew I wanted a change and i wasn’t happy with my processed hair but when i did big chop…i felt good i felt great then i panicked…”what’s next?” So out of sheer panic i relaxed it 🙁 the second time i big chopped i was ready. I understood what I was doing, I knew what I wanted and I knew how to go about it. I’ve never looked back. Also it’s safe to say, I have a few ideas on how to get it right but also an expert of how to get it wrong.

#1. Research, plan and then research some more. It’s an awesome time to bigchop to natural hair because there is so much information out there on having healthy natural hair.

#2. Choose a muse 

Sanaa Lathan source: Google
Solange Knowles source: Google

#2. Be Prepared-Ask friends, stylist and other curlies for advice, their experience, products etc. Talk to spouse, family or friends to gauge their reactions but don’t be discouraged by negative reactions. If this is something you want to do, then go for it

#3. Transition for a while. I trasitioned for 5 months, to get a little growth before I big chopped. If you cant see yourself big chopping try switching it up to extensions or at least braids or cornrows to give your hair a break and for you to have more time to build up the confidence to cut your hair. I also used this time to learn and try out products that enhanced managed curl pattern and control frizz when I eventually big chopped. Also practice the LOC method as you are transitioning.

#4. Hydrate, hydrate -incorporate coconut and castor oil into leave-in conditioner and hydrate like its going our of style-Umm yes, you can still break hair while short, so keep on hydrating with a moisturizing conditioner. The curlier your hair, the tighter your coil curl pattern the more intense hydration needs to be.

#5. Get a great stylist who will support you on your journey. The second time I big chopped I got a stylist to cut my hair. A stylist can help you transition longer. The stylist should also be able to give you a proper hair cut i.e. cut out the relaxed ends Ask to see pictures of their work. 

#6. You can decide to have a tapered cut. Honestly I wish I could have had a tapered cut. A tapered cut looks sexy, helps you have a more feminine edge and highlights your cheekbones

source: Google

#7.You dont have to be super drastic. You can trim it it a little at a time as you get used to seeing your natural hair

#8.Snap a before and after picture 

#9.Just Do It! You hair will grow back. Most women find it freeing, liberating.

#10.Enjoy your Big Chop moment. Natural hair is a journey and your hair will grow faster than you think so don’t overthink it. There will be good days when you love your hair, there will be tough days when you hate it…that is will all hair. so have some fun…budget for some awesome hair accessories, statement earrings, buy makeup that highlights your cheekbones etc

 

Source: Google

Pssst!…you can get a pretty pearl headband here

I miss going to the salon…is it safe to go?

I miss going to the Salon source:google

There is no denying it, salon closures have impacted my beauty routine and self-esteem and the Kenyan economy as a whole. The salon industry is a multi-million industry and supports over 50,000 Kenyans mostly women raising a family. A Kenyan woman who did not have easy access to education is able to undergo informal hair training and able to start a business to feed their families. The industry is also informal and goes unchecked 

Like all industries, the salon hair care industries took a blow. I was never a big fan of salons but it was always nice to know that they would be there for a quick blowdry, cornrows or box braids.

As a naturalista it was always nice to know that they are there for a quick blowdry, cornrows or braids. Since the easing of restrictions, is it safe to go to the hair salon? Is going to a salon now increasing my chances of contracting COVID-19? I really want to go here’s what Im hoping will change:

Guidelines for Salons

  • Most salons are commendable for hygiene because the know it’s important to their clients. However they need to steup the sanitation. Wear masks, wipe down after every client, temperature check at the door etc. 
  • Place chairs 6 feet apart
  • Stylist to wear a mask and eye shield
  • They should only provide service to patrons who are wearing 
  • Services to be by appointment only to space the clients safely in between sanitization. An easy online calender which clients can book can help with this. 
  • Sanitation should be done after every appointment
  • They should have little or almost no one in the salon. Anyone who is not with a client should not be in the salon. If possible have a waiting area outside where clients and stylists can maintain social distancing 
  • Encourage cashless payment…VISA or MPESA card
  • Even though the industry is struggling, they need to avoid random walk-ins for the sake of the health of the stylists and their loyal clients.  They should take things slow and only have a small team. 
  • Remove magazines and drinks from the salon. 
  • Space out clients 
  • Work in shifts to get more clients but still ensuring the health and safety of everyone.
  • Offer virtual consultation ahead of appointments to minimize exposure time. Virtual consultations to take the guesswork out so they are more prepared and efficient during the actual appointment. 
  • Provide disposable masks should also be available for clients. 
  • Cleanliness is key-gowns, hairdressing, equipment should be disinfected after every client. Hand sanitizer should be made available. Single use towels should be washed and disinfected. 
  • Payment should be cashless…MPESA or VISA Card
  • No walk-ins allowed to avoid crowding the salon. Come alone, avoid coming with family. Have a 1 meter distance rule (3 to 6 feet). 
  • Carry out extra sanitation. staff should wear visors and masks. Gowns and hair-dressing equipment should be disinfected or discarded after every use. 
  • Stop having tea, coffee and magazines are likely to become a thing of the past
  • As a stylist keep yourself updated on the latest health and safty news regarding coronavirus. Its always important to be aware on the number of infections in your area. 

Guidelines for Patrons

  • Visits to salons now should be taken seriously. It’s no longer a flighty impulsive thing to go to a salon. It should be done with purpose because honestly whenever you are going out of your house you are putting yourself and your loved ones at risk .Before going to the salon,  try doing your hair at home. There are lots of videos, tools, products you can order online get to manage your beauty during this time.
  • But if you must go here are a few guidelines Im hoping we all can abide by:
  • Call beforehand to find out what precautions they are taking and also to discuss your hair and what you want. This will keep your conversation in the salon to a minimum. Talking releasing droplets into the atmosphere.
  • Prep your hair beforehand to spend less time in the salon. I.e. remove the braids, detangle with a wide-tooth comb, wash hair, deep condition, blow dry etc. 
  • Don’t dring fluids before your appointment in order to avoid using the bathroom. 
  • Wear a mask. Once you to wear a mask wash your hands. Carry eye protection, gloves or disposable tissues, hand sanitizer. 
  • Cancel your appointment if you feel sick…don’t put the salon’s health and business at risk.
  • Wear your face throughout the duration of your appointment. Even at the sink, unhook your mask and hold it to your face.
  • Stand up for yourself and others. If you see risky behaviour say something. 
  • To lower the risk of cross contamination, stick to one hair stylist.

Conclusion

It’s fair to say new hairdressing experience looks a lot different from the one we once knew. And 

This is the new normal, a whole new experience to be felt, where now the priority is health and safety for everyone. 

So during this global pandemic, which salon in Kenya would you recommend?

5 Signs it was time to break up with him

breakup6

Photo credit: Google

Breaking up is not something to be taken lightly. It could be the best idea or it could be something you live to regret. 

Regrettably, my bad relationships have always lasted longer than they should have. If there is trouble in a relationship, I should “work harder” at it rather than take a step back. If you are questioning your reasons for being in a relationship its time to recognize a sinking ship and get out before it’s too late. 

 

#1. He is cheating on you.

cheating

 The most obvious sign that it’s time to break up is if he is cheating on you. Cheating is crossing the line and once that line is crossed, the trust is broken and it is very hard to get it back. Staying with a cheating man means you accept disrespectful behaviour. With such a spouse you will always feel “not good enough” and this always ends up affecting all other parts of your life in a negative way and without consequences, a man will always cheat again. Shante Broadus, Snoop’s wife of twenty years most recently posted on her Instagram. It read, “Don’t ask me for relationship advice cuz I took the n*gga back 81 times.” 

shanebroadusinsta

Source: Madame Noire

Are you prepared to be cheated on 81 times

 

#2. If he lacks a game plan

breakup3

 

If he uses “I” instead of “we” when he talks about the future. It’s a hint. He sees you as temporary rather than a fixed pillar in his life.  Rather than frustrating yourself further, start living and making your own plans. Create your own world where the version of yourself to attract a great man who does see you as his long term future plan.

 

 

#3 He’s an addict

breakup4

Erratic moods, financial trouble, unable to hold down a job, neglect of responsibilities, unhealthy friendships, these are just a few signs of an addict.  This another deal-breaker that is hard to swallow. Addiction rears its ugly head when you are in too deep. Addicts are extremely good liars. When you are in such a relationship it is emotionally exhausting when you are constantly playing the role of girlfriend policeman. It’s hard to walk away from your partner because you feel guilty but an addict can only recover when he hits rock bottom.Being with him only enables his behaviour, you’ll truly be helping yourself and him if you break up with him. 

 

#4 Any form of abuse

bup8

If your partner tries to control, bully, frighten or isolate you it is some form of abuse. It can be verbal, mental, physical or emotional. The more you stay in such a relationship the more you lose yourself. Abuse is never your fault. You “did not ask for it”. Don’t wait until someone violently throws you down the stairs and tries to cover up your murder to get out of abusive relationship.

 

#5 If you are cheating or tempted to cheat

breakup2

Source: Google

Loneliness, boredom, trying to fill an emotional void in our lives…sadly more and more women are cheating. No data would give valid statistics because we are very good at hiding it. However the emotional and financial toll (if you are married) its still a bad idea. If you are cheating, its a clear sign to step back and work on yourself. 

 

 

 

 

Your relationship can never really be perfect. There will always be a few irritations and it is certainly unrealistic to think you will not be happy all the time, however, learn to trust your gut instinct, set boundaries and know when it’s time to walk away.  This life is short,  we all deserve to be in a happy and to be in a happy, healthy relationship. 

breakupquote2

What made you break up with your partner?

Want to submit an article? Email ittkenyancurl@gmail.com

I have Anxiety…here’s what it looks like

I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth diminishing your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.”– Steve Maraboli

Anxiety

Ive been guilty of being a control freak especially in relationships. This season of Rona has brought down my false sense of security. Im not really in control of anything except myself and maybe these words and even in the next minute do I really have control?For some of us..read me, the reality of this global pandemic has resulted in me feeling not in control and has triggered anxiety.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is your body’s natural response to stress. Its a feeling of fear, apprehension, dread, doom about what is to come. It is more than just worry. it comes with a deep sense of dread and can also be accompanied with other emotional and mental issues such as depression.

Anxiety and Fear

Anxiety is fear of fear. It is fear of a future that may never take place. It involves a never ending treadmill of irrational thoughts. While fear is an emotional and physical reaction to a present known threat.It is needless and imaginary. It focuses on possiblities of an unknown future. It doesnt protect you from danger, it prevents you from taking action.  We should be fearful of contracting coronavirus after all its a shitty disease that is extremely contagious. we should NOT be anxious of covid19, it is here now.  We should be fearful of the hard economic times we are facing however we should not be anxious about the collapse of the global financial markets.

Anxiety brings on paralysis, an exaggeration of what-ifs while fear is about staying alive, feeding your family, wearing a mask, taking precaution etc.

anx4

Why do I get anxiety?

Doctors haven’t quite figured out why some people get anxious and others do not. It could be as a result of a combination of external stimuli,  emotional abandonment, shame when first exposed to something, your unique personality brain chemistry, genetic and environmental factors. For me, I grew up in anxiety. My grandmother and mother was a worrier. i learned to be anxious from my mother. 

How it feels to have anxiety?

Anxiety looks different on everyone and sometimes it’s difficult to tell if someone has anxiety. Here is what I feel when I have anxiety.

A sickening feeling in my stomach, fearful. having a sense of dread and doom. Painful butterflies in your stomach. Feelng weak, a sense of helpless, lack of sleep or poor sleep, restlenssness, a strong sense of disconnect, nightmares, procrastination, feeling of loss of control. My mind goes round and round replaying possibilities and scenarios. It triggered for me a flight-freeze response i.e. I would either avoid or freeze any action around any situation that I thought was giving me anxiety.

What triggered my anxiety?

Hanging out with negative energy people, stress, overstimulation, cigarettes, alcohol

Lately my anxiety has been triggered by negative news reports, social media posts, racing thoughts, stress, overworked brain and more lately the freakin’ coronavirus

What have I done to get through this?

Adulting is real so anxiety will definitely come but will also go as long as you learn to recognize the signs and process it in a healthy way. Here is what helped me:

  • Learn to recognize the cycle of anxiety.
  • Dont panic
  • Regular exercise. The moment i feel anxious, if I can, I stand up, take a 10 minute break, go for a walk. Regular exercise releases helpful feel-good hormones
  • Meditation. Helped me to calm the nerves down.
  • Avoid alcohol and cigarettes, helped me to stop the obsessive round and round irrational thoughts
  • Listening to soothing music. Classical, jazz, rain sounds.Youtube provides a wide array of calming music to download and listen.
  • Writing out in a journal…helped me to clear my mind of the thoughts and helped me pinpoint the source of my anxiety as well as analyAlso going back to journals showed me progress.

 

The global pandemic has definitely triggered my anxiety. It challenged me to develop a balanced perspective of coronavirus. I couldnt ignore its existence however I couldnt panic.

How do you strive for a healthy perspective of  COVID-19?

Be responsibly informed i.e. get news from reputable news channels that report responsibly.

Take control of your mental health. Sleep, eat healthy,

Avoid social media posts and videos with corona trigger words and images. My trigger images where empty supermarket shelves, riot and upheaval images. Words like “worse than the great depression” “job loss

I’ve also cut down on social media and deleted social media from my phone. I only check social media twice a day.

I do what i can in my world to take care of myself and my family. At this time this includes masks, sanitizers, social distancing, no unnecessary trips, cutting costs, doing my best at work.

Conclusion

Self-awareness and mindfulness has been a big help in managing my anxiety. Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of.It’s time to get help when your anxiety starts to interfere with your life. This could be in the form of counselling or seeing a psychiatrist. Sit with your anxiety. Acknowledge it, explore it, befriend it.

I see my anxiety as a fire that can be small matchstick flame, or a raging burning bush. I can either pour water or gasoline on it or recognize it’s presence, and let it burn out. Like any fire, my anxiety eventually burns out, if i just let it sit for awhile.

 

So what coronavirus keywords have triggered your anxiety?

 

Have something to say?Interested in writing…submit an article here.

 

 

 

Am I the only one freaking out about Coronavirus?

cv5

Am I the only one freaking out about the coronavirus? Is the coronavirus a sign of the times? Is this the pandemic that scientists have been claiming is long “overdue”?Im not a hypochondriac but I’ve been freaking out about the coronavirus. I guess because nowadays rather than little information, there is a lot of information overload and a lot more “fake” news. The Internet has made it super easy to get hourly updates on any news. and coronavirus has been one. Most recently I met a friend who had recently talked to a work colleague come back from the Philipines, gave him a hug. As she was telling me this I started joking to her about Coronavirus…I then googled coronavirus, Philipines and saw there was a case. Our laughter got a little bit awkward after that.

What is the Coronavirus?

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Coronavirus in the lungs

Coronavirus is a large family of viruses that attack respiratory system. It is zoonotic meaning these viruses can be transmitted from animals to humans. coronavirus was identified in Dec by Chinese officials. It is said that it is derived from a Wuhan seafood market in Hubei province in China. New cases are reported on an hourly basis. So far 811 people have died in China from the coronavirus. There have been over 20,000 reported cases. The virus has spread to 28 countries including the US and the UK.

Death toll is reaching over 40,000 on Feb 10th.

 

Why is it scary?

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  • It is presenting as a potential pandemic threat.
  • The current outbreak is sparking anxiety and concern. This is because the virus might spread too far and cause dramatic harm before health officials can find a way to stop it. Questions of its transmission remain unanswered. It takes 5-6 days to rise to symptoms. Some people may carry the virus but do not show any visible symptoms. 2-4% of people infected with the virus in China have done. 
  • It’s easily contagious.
  • The incubation time of the virus is two weeks. This means it can spread fast before it is detected
  • Even though African countries have so far not reported any cases Kenya does not yet have the testing tools to detect the virus.
  • Given the current state and corrupt culture, will our government actually take real precautions to protect us it’s citizens?
  • Our government may not have the resources, training and knowledge of how to contain this virus
  • So far there is no cure for the common cold virus, there is no cure for the coronavirus
  • Getting the latest updates of coronavirus, makes us feel disheartened, vulnerable…like very little is in our control.

Aaannywaays here’s what you can do to gain some sense of control:

Wash your hands

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Practice really good hygiene-wash hand with warm water, lather up and scrub for 20 seconds.

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Use a hand sanitizer that is 60% alcohol. Cover your mouth and nose with tissue or elbow when you are coughing or sneezing. Maintain a social distance of 1 meter (3 feet). When someone has coughing or sneezing they project droplets. If standing too close you can breathe the viruses. Avoid touching eyes, nose or mouth with contaminated hands. Avoid direct contact with napkins, tissues, handkerchiefsDont share dishes, glasses or eating utensils. If you have a fever, cough or difficulty breathing seek medical care early. Wash your hands with soap and water immediately after coughing, sneezing or blowing your nose. 

 

Immune System

immunity

Build a strong immune system. Take vitamin c supplements. When levels of vitamin c are low, the immune system can never function at its full capacity. For the immune system to function well. It requires balance and harmony. Factors that affect our immune response is diet, exercise, age, psychological stress. Practise general healthy living strategies and hose a healthy lifestyle

 

 

Diet

veggies

Eat a healthy diet of veggies. Your plate should look like a freaking rainbow, with colourful foods to ensure you are getting antioxidants, phytochemicals and polyphenols. This good stuff are soldiers in the immune system, creating healthy cells and killing damaged cells. Only eat well-cooked animals and animal products. Avoid raw and undercooked animal products.

 

Exercise

 

exercise

Regular exercise improves cardiovascular health, lowers blood pressure, helps control body weight and improves circulation. It allows cells and substances of the immune system to move through the body freely and do their job efficiently. Rest and avoid overexertion.

 

Sleep, Rest and relaxation

relax

Practice rest, relaxation and meditation. Stress has been shown to lower our immune systems. Aim for 7 hours or more of sleep. Reduce stress by doing yoga, meditation and exercise.

 

 

 

Don’t smoke

Drink alcohol in moderation

 

What Kenyan men want for Valentine…I did a survey!

VDAY3

The results are in, ladies !

I’ve always just found it so difficult to buy gifts for the men in my life. The gifts that I always thought would blow their mind were always super expensive or impossible to get in Nairobi e.g. like organize for my boyfriend to drive a Ferrari on the Autobahn in Germany. I mean that would be super cool but a little bit too extra. This actually used to give me anxiety. I feel Valentine’s day puts a lot of pressure on couples. So I did a quick survey on the average Kenyan Joe in Nairobi.

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Here’s what they want on the dreaded V-day.

“Something that would embody effort. A sappy gift that shows appreciation, who  I am, what, I want, where Im.. a sign that shows that you pay attention to where Im at in life and what I’m trying to achieve and you are trying to help me get there” Patrick, 26 years, Lawyer

“Spending all day with the person. Plan the day equitably. Sharing the plan of the day. Create meaningful experiences for both of us. It should be a time to remember the memories. It should not just be a man planning this day. Trying to enjoy as a couple. Maybe a SPA day or a weekend getaway. It should also be a time for purposeful conversation. A time to reflect the highs, lows,. Don’t let time fly by without having that conversation. Practice words of affirmation.” Andy, 30years, Political Public Policy consultant, in a 2 year relationship

“Going out for dinner” Chris, 45, Accountant, married

“It should be a special day for love birds. Focus on the simple things. Sit with me. Tell me the reasons why you love me over a romantic meal which I will cook my best dish-biriyani. Im from Coast” Amos, 28yrs, software developer, in a 2-year relationship

“If she pays the rent for the month. That will make my day” Victor, 32, Marketing Consultant, married for 3 years

“I don’t recognise this holiday but I would love to be taken out to a nice place with good food, maybe a nice cologne, some sex..no flowers please” Kamau, Entrepreneur, 32, single

 

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“I don’t get Valentines. I don’t celebrate valentines or even birthdays. Bryan, Quality Assurance Manager, 31 years.

What I learnt so far:

  • Kenyan men are pretty low-key when it comes to Valentine’s day.
  • Bryan sucks
  • Experience is more important than gifts.
  • Secretly men want this day to not be about spending exorbitant amounts of money
  • Secretly men want the weight of planning this day off their shoulders. He will be happier if you can do the planning for this day.
  • Secretly men just want to get laid onValentines.
  • Getting that “perfect negligee” ain’t that serious to him.
  • And Bryan super sucks…

So if you are a lady trying to please her man today, TAKE CHARGE,  focus on having GREAT nooky time rather than gifts.

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You’re welcome, ladies. Have a lovely Valentine’s Day

 

 

 

Why Do Breakups Hurt like Hell?

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Breakups are shit…they suck…they are like painful hot searing swords pierced into your heart that you can’t seem to pull out. One of my worst puberty breakups was when I was 12 years old. My first boyfriend dumped me after the school because “I had big thighs”…thanks for the body shame WK

I’ve recently broken up with my boyfriend. We had been going out for 1 year. We decided to call it quits after realising that we wanted different things. I wanted a future, he wanted alcohol..a lot of alcohol. It was time to let go and I tried to do it as gently as possible. 

Lucy a friend of mine recently got dumped on the phone it blindsided her. The man she had been crushing on, who had been dating for 3 months, texted her randomly and said they should just be “friends”. Two weeks later it turned out he had been engaged for a year. 

Whether you are the dumper or the dumpee breakups are hard. It felt like a searing hot sword was piercing my heart and at the same time like an emptiness had replaced my heart. 

So why does it hurt like hell?

Im no psychologist but I’ve had my fair share of breakups. There are the reasons why it may hurt like hell:

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  • You know you made the right decision, you have a rational explanation that makes sense but it still isn’t giving you closure. As human beings, we typically crave logical solutions. Breakups don’t offer this. There is actually no rational or logical reasons that can make you feel good about a breakup. 
  • You feel like you are losing an investment. Have you ever bought shares in a company that turned to shit? You had given time and even contributed financially in the relationship and now have nothing to show for it. 
  • You have unresolved feelings of rejection from your childhood. We all go through some form of childhood trauma. It has shaped who we are. Breakups take us back to those painful moments when we first experienced feeling “just not good enough”. 
  • You grew attached…used to this person’s attention, validation acceptance etc. When you break up the emotional connections were severed similar to being amputated. You keep missing that “ghost leg”
  • Your source of happiness, validation, love, romance, intimacy has been cut off leaving your emotional needs unmet. Who is going to validate your existence in the world? Who is going to affirm you, “you are worthy”?
  • You fixate and imagine on the unrealistic expectations of what-could-have-been relationship that never really existed. In your head, your relationship was perfect and would have just kept getting better, “if we just kept working at it.” 
  • You are building up and fixating on the good times in your head
  • You played with power and you got played. You thought you would be okay with being FWB (friends with benefits) and turned out you wanted more and he didn’t. 
  • You ended the relationship prematurely thinking that if you walked away you could get what you want. you wanted to show him who’s boss. It may have backfired. You took a huge hit and you now feel pain. 
  • You didn’t see it coming. You saw him with her. He blindsided you with a breakup. 
  • You are envious. You started to think of your ex- being happy without you. You imagine he is laughing with friends, “free”, not miserable. You become in a state of distress because you imagine him not missing you, not needing you the way you feel you need him.
  • You are lonely and possibly depressed. You are single and now have more time for yourself. Your friends are tired of hearing about you and him and you feel like they don’t understand. It’s easy to isolate yourself. Or you may be stuck at home with few options it’s easy to fall into depression over your breakup. 
  • You are stalking him.Think twice before checking out his tweets. Seeing what you are “missing” out on will only make you sad. And will prolong the healing process.
  • You are trying to remain friends with your ex. This only prolongs the pain. Your wound tries to heal but can’t because you keep ripping open the scare tissue. 
  • You are keeping reminders. Throw out, give away or burn reminders of the relationship. They symbolise that you weren’t “good enough”. Getting rid of them means you are letting go and making room for new opportunities in love. 

Breakups also hurt physically. Your appetite. You may be experiencing headache, joint pain, memory loss. Studies show that the brain releases natural pain killers-opioids during heartbreak-a sign that breakups do physically hurt and your brain tries to deal with it. Sometimes like a punch in the stomach.

Because of Evolution. Being rejected from a tribe or social group used to quite literally being cut off from shelter, food. Evolutionary -speaking, breakups put our survival in jeopardy. 

Even the slightest rejection causes your brain to be alerted to the potential threat to your survival. focuses it’s the attention believing that if you focus on what it considers as danger. This makes us feel uncomfortable and afraid

 

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What You Should Do Now

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Stop trying to make yourself feel better. Sounds counterintuitive but allowing yourself to process the feelings makes the pain go away faster.

Reach out to friends and family who have gone through similar situations.

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Distance yourself from your ex. You need time and space to heal. 

Practice mindfulness. Learn to recognize your pain, where it’s coming from and accepting the pain. Going through the painful process helps you to heal faster. 

Focus on your spirituality. Connect with your Higher Being. Read spiritual books, pray and meditate to find purpose and meaning in this breakup and in life in general.  It will renew energy and give you hope that there are better days coming…because there are better days coming 🙂

Practice self-care-this means to focus on your mental, physical and emotional well being. It also means forgiving yourself for any setbacks you may have on the healing journey. This may mean getting a good night sleep, eating healthily, focusing on your spiritual life etc

Keep yourself busy by trying new things, meeting new people rather than trying to numb yourself with work, food, alcohol, drugs try to explore your

Talk to a trained counsellor whom you feel you can be truly open with. Sometimes the pain is real and deep and it may affect other aspects of your life…work, relationships with your family. If you start to isolate yourself thinking that others don’t understand your pain. It’s time to talk to a trained professional to help you process your emotions. All pain is real, even breakups…do all you can to heal and process your emotions. 
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